I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
