'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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