If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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