Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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