I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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