what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He better not be in your backpack
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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