Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
