can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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