Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
