Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
