i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This is my life. Enjoy the view
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize