the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
