what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
