SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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