I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
