I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Drake has all the answers
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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