he shaved USA in his pubs
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize