What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
