i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
