Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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