Yo dont text me then not text me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
