I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
