saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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