is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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