So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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