did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
