so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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