I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
