his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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