Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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