So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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