new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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