i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
