Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize