She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
