Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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