Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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