I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Barsexuality is the new black.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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