Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
