I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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