I'm eating all of the evidence.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize