its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
