Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
