He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize