I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
