Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
