I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
