u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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