What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
