You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
