smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
