Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
