Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize