we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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