we have officially lost it.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
