Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
