I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
