Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
