So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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