I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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