her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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