dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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