he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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